On May 26th, 2009 I created a Newgrounds account under the name Thingthingdude200. I was 12. I've been here for 14 years since. That seems like a long time, but when you look through my animations there's really not a lot to show for it. I'm not sure if it's the ADHD or just general bad habits I've developed over the years, but I've fallen into an endless cycle of starting projects and never finishing them.
I've worked on traditional and sprite based 2D animation, 3D animation, source mods and even stand-alone games. Hundreds of projects that will never see the light of day. I've had so many opportunities handed to me and I've wasted all of them. If I was ever capable of accomplishing something worthwhile, I probably would have done so by now. At a certain point, I think it's essential to take a step back and re-evaluate where I'm heading.
I've wasted a lot of peoples time. I feel like a fraud being surrounded by so many talented people. I'm only known for my involvement in certain events that unfolded a few years back. It's all people bring up when meeting me for the first time now. I don't enjoy the creative process anymore, and I feel guilty for trying.
I've put a lot of thought into it over the past couple of weeks. I don't feel like I have a place here. I should have called it quits a long time ago. I'll be uploading all of my unfinished work publicly later tonight. I'll also be sharing my sprites and animation files with the animator I trust most. I'll leave it up to him whether or not he publicly distributes them or keeps them to himself. Once I'm done, I'll be logging out of all of my accounts for the final time and wiping my drives.
But as depressing and dramatic as that all might sound, I'm hopeful that I'll find something in the future that I'm good at. Something that makes me happy. I don't regret the time I spent here at all. I've had so many amazing opportunities to meet so many incredible people, and I'm grateful to every single one of you. I'll never be able to thank you guys enough for all you've done for me.